I may not be what you think I am

By Claire / a few months ago

The NO bullshit, stripped bare facts about me, warts and all!1 I WAKE SOME
MORNINGS….wracked with massive self doubt, thinking, I’m a failure. I doubt that I work hard enough and everything I have worked for will be taken way, and why would anyone want to work with me! After a tea/coffee, supps, an uplifting podcast ( currently the Body and the Beast ), looking out the window at the beautiful view and listening to the outdoors , I slowly come around, so by the time I hit the desk to make shit happen I’m OK, most of the time!2 I HONESTLY
DISLIKE TATTOOS. I personally think they are ugly and spoil an often beautiful body, BUT some of the coolest guys, that I hold in the highest regard and have helped me massively with my business have them, so as much as I dislike a tat, I certainly don’t have issues with those that do like them (I love watching Tattoo Fixers)!3 ONE OF MY BEST MATES….in Comprehensive went out with Michael Sheen (yes he was in school with me) and I went on the same residential
drama courses as him, but I wasn’t allowed to progress with drama as it wasn’t thought of as a “serious subject” to do as an `O` Level by my parents ! (something I wish I had stood up for myself and said NO)4 I’M SMALL…standing a mere 5 foot 1.5 inches tall, and admit I have on occasions, suffered with small person syndrome. I was bullied a lot in school, as I also had long red hair and ended having to fight my way out of many a painful emotional
experience. Bullying used to start at the bus stop unless a kind guy called Jeff Martin (miss you Jeff) was there to look after me, on the bus in, bus home as well as local youth club ! So I guess I looked an easy target !5 I WAS ONE OF THE….youngest female senior managers in what was British Steel at the tender age of 28 with my own office and company car. You definitely have to work harder and better to get on, I learned that fast, plus you need to be fairly
resilient to the banter, the gynaecologically explicit female calendars, plus all the shit that comes with standing out, being different and being small!6 As A SMALL PERSON…..some folk have mistaken me for someone who is easily swayed or convinced by seniority, popularity, a dominant male or verbal/mental/physical threats. The funniest was when ex rugby stars used to come into work as sales people for chemical suppliers and think that I would be swayed by their stardom
and popularity and give them or let them keep a contract within the Works (Mr Quinnell, I wasn’t for swaying !). They were sadly delusional! If I have that gut feeling I will stick by it no matter what or who you are!7 I USED TO BE 14 stone…..at my heaviest. I still struggle with maintaining my ideal weight. I still struggle with feeling good about my body whether it’s at ideal or over where I like to be, so yup I’m pretty flawed as well!8 I HAVE 4
children…..but still have a life. I love being a Mum but not a the expense of everything else. For me to be a good Mum, I need to, feel challenged, motivated, earning my own way, as well as be actively helping other people be happy in themselves..9 I BUST MY….bust my anterior cruciate ligament ( the important ligament that holds your knee in place ) in a kids school tug of war, had it repaired and bust it again doing heavy kettlebells. I had it repaired for a second time in 2
operations, one in Dec 15 and the following operation in Dec 16 with ligaments and bone grafts from an American Male cadaver. Thank you NHS ! As part of my pre operation, get strong I started Power lifting and entered my first competition in June2017 and looking forward to the next one probably in Nov/Dec10 I’M a HIPPY and YOGI AT HEART…I love yoga, meditation, burning the incense, funky clothes etc and just adore Glastonbury much to my husband’s
distain.11 I AM A CAT LOVER…and breed Birman Cats.12 I AM VERY SELF SUFFICIENT…in the fact I have had very little support from family over the years. Our once stable family unit is fractured and dysfunctional. My father recently passed away and I have taken the helm with being the strong person,making sure stuff gets done. I am recently learning to reach out and realise there is help and support out therefor all of the stuff I need help
with its just a case of asking for it and not being stubborn.13 I LOVE…..nice make up, having make overs, having my hair done as well as my nails.14 I LIKE PUSHING MYSELF…to the limits, I’m kind of crazy and my kids think I’m a lot MAD. I really fancy having a go at the SAS program that was on the telly recently, that’s right up my street ! I see myself at Everest Base camp before I die, something my dad wanted to do but never did it and want to
take up singing in front of people before I get too old.15 I’m MARMITE….yup you either like me or hate me, and I’m cool with that now ! After years and years of self doubt, being myself then worrying if I was not fitting in, when I left British Steel I was very guarded and almost on best behaviour teaching 27 fitness classes a week. My audience I realised was very different and most of the time I didn’t fit in. Same goes for the time spent at the school gate, I felt
totally alienated and paralysed most of the time. Massive thanks to a few folk who know eho they are for releasing the REAL me, warts, weird and all in a massive life changing program a few years ago.I am what I am, and yes I am my own SPECIAL creation !16 I’M EXPLOSIVE…and very direct, but never hold a grudge. A tough diamond exterior holds a passionate, soft as shit interior whose easy to bring to tears, but that’s very guarded and very few have access to the “inner
circle of trust”17 I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE…on Christmas day 1999, as I had a massive asthma attack and ended up in A andE for 4 hrs as they stabilised me. After ignoring a chesty cough in the build up to Christmas, it just got worse and worse, I learnt a BIG lesson that day and it took me months to recovery properly !18 I`VE BEEN ON QUESTION TIME. I love the program and always tune into it on a Thursday and was so chuffed to get on the
Cardiff Show earlier this year. David Dimbleby is a real cool guy.19 I’M A TRUE FITNESS VETERAN…if I turn up at a Fitness Convention most of the established big names on the fitness circuit know me cos I have been around so long, many I know on first name terms and I do blush in a class when I’m picked out as a familiar face !Massive thanks to my friend Darryl Preston and Michael King who made me want to become an aerobics instructor which started it all
off in Blackpool all those years ago and the fab videos that I basically wore out !I’ve seen it all come and go, initially watching my mum do Jane Fonda`s LP of gruelling exercises that put her back out and end up at the docs !Yup seen it, done it — gliding, Tae Bo, gliding, shake weight, ab rollers, that tube thing that looked like a drainpipe with a handle in the middle, WII Fit, Ab Rollers, Military style bootcamps, Power Plate, Toning shoes, Body blade, BOSU,
slendertone, line dancing, Zumba, Funky Pump yup it’s been a blast so far. I can now see what’s going to come and go like polloxing, metafit, muddy obstacle courses etc I even think that Crossfit, popular as it is will see a decline.In my ideal world I wish we could only have guys that are really passionate, professional, have empathy for those that are not as fit and strong as them and have a good grounding in safe technique that are really willing to help people make
themselves better versions of themselves. Like most things in life there are amazing trainers, good instructors, ok instructors and downright crap instructors !20 PILATES AND YOGA….have been my saviour as a mad passionate, sometimes aggressive, impatient short arse, these bring balance. Massive thank you to my tutor and friend Michael King for teaching me on your first Pilates course some 21 years ago.21 I’M PERSONALLY NOT A FAN OF…the pre
choreographed stuff like Body Pump , Body …. etc of this world, as I feel it stifles and has killed of a lot of the individuality of our young and upcoming folk, plus it’s a bit one size fits all which for me is a BIG no no. There is ALWAYS someone who needs an adaptation, variation of an exercise and these classes don’t allow for this. I’m MASSIVE fan and a complete nightmare on good form and posture in a session to avoid injury, but still have fun So yes I
understand why people go to this type of class, and yes they serve a purpose and people enjoy it, but it’s not for me.Happy FridayThank you for reading xClairePS Want to come join us to lose some weightover the Summer hols for FREE, let me know if your interested.What do you think ?Apply HEREClaire
Source: Awber

About the author

Claire